O my Beloved, You have searched me and know me!
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
You discern my innermost thoughts.
You find me on the journey and guide my steps;
You two my strengths and my weakness.
Even before words rise up in prayer, Lo, You have already heard my heart call.
You encompass me with love where’er I go, and your strength is my shield.
Such sensitivity is too wonderful for me; it is high;
boundless gratitude is my soul’s response.
Where could I go from your Spirit? Or how could I flee from your Presence?
If I ascend into heaven, You are there! If I made my bed in darkness, You are there!
If I soar on the wings of the morning or dwell in the deepest parts of the sea,
Eve there your Hand will lead me, and your Love will embrace me.
If I say, “Let only darkness cover me, and the light about me be night,”
Even the darkness is not dark to You, the night dazzles as with the sun;
the darkness is as light with You.
For You formed my inward begin, You knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise You, for You are to be reverenced and adored.
Your mysteries fell me with wonder!
More than I know myself do You know me; my essence was not hidden from You,
When I was being formed in secret,
intricately fashioned from the elements of the earth.
Your eyes beheld my unformed substance;
in your records were written every one of them,
The days that were numbered for me, when as yet there was none of them.
how precious to me are your creations, O Blessed One!
How vast is the sum of them!
Who could count your innumerable gifts and blessings?
At all times, You are with me.
O that You would vanquish my fears, Beloved;
O that ignorance and suffering would depart from me-
My ego separates me from true abandonment, to surrendering myself into your Hands!
Yet are these not the very thorns that focus my thoughts upon You?
I yearn to come to You in love, to learn of your mercy and wisdom!
Search me, O my Beloved, and know my heart! Try me and discern my thoughts!
Help me to face the darkness within me; enlighten me,
that I might radiate your Love and Light!
Nan C. Merrill Psalms for Praying
Reflection:
The relationship between God and the psalmist is connected and intertwined deeply. The psalmist is fully known by God. To be fully known is to be completely vulnerable. Being vulnerable can be scary, but it can also lead to a deeply connected love.
Sometimes I find great comfort and love in this connection. Other times, I read this psalm and think, ‘just leave me alone so I can drop your heavy thoughts’ (paraphrase of verse 17). When I read this psalm (or any scripture) I pay attention to how it makes me feel. Sometimes thinking about the love of God is overwhelming and exhausting because I want to do something to earn that love or I want to respond to that love by loving others. Being a co-creator with God is difficult work. I try to pay attention when I want to make my spiritual life productive because ‘results’ are not the point of a cultivating a spiritual life. Being with God is enough.
I often have to remind myself that being with God is enough. As someone who has done pastoral and nonprofit work, part of my work is to cultivate a spiritual life in myself and to help others do the same, but sometimes, the words work and spiritual life shouldn’t be in the same sentence. It’s in those seasons, I need to do less or do something different. Sometimes, that means I neglect the blog, sometimes it means I read a book that isn’t for work. Sometimes I take a class or I take a nap. Being with God is enough, I don’t have to do something to be with God. God knows I need to rest too.
I hope we can all worry a little less about doing and just relax into being with God. Psalm 139 reminds us that God is with us no matter where we go or what we do or do not do. So let’s just be with God. Let’s simply, be.
Check out other psalm reflections in the links below or find more of my writing published in Presbyterian Outlook or listen to my experiments in podcasting on the Period Pastor Podcast. Follow me @periodpastor
I began writing Psalm reflections during Lent of 2020. Shortly after, we decided to close the church building, work from home, and worship via zoom. Many churches use the Revised Common Lectionary (RLC) that rotates scripture on a three-year cycle (A, B, and C). Starting in Advent 2019, the church decided to worship with the texts from Year D, which is still not circulated as are years A, B, and C. Year D was created with the goal of including scriptures that were left out or not used as frequently as others. While we were using Psalms in year D, most other lectionary followers were using Year A. In Advent of 2020 we rejoined those who use the lectionary in year B. Advent of 2021 year C. When we returned to in person worship, we took the psalm reflections out of the order of worship. I continued to write them for the blog. Advent of 2022 year A. I left church work in July of 2023 but continued the practice of writing psalm reflections. Advent of 2023 year B.
I use the Vanderbilt Divinity Library’s resource for lectionary readings to make text selections.
1st Sunday in Advent Psalm 25, 2nd Sunday in Advent instead of a Psalm the lectionary gives Luke 1:68-79, 3rd Sunday in Advent instead of a Psalm the lectionary gives Isaiah 12:2-6, 4th Sunday in Advent Luke 1:46b-55 or Psalm 80, Christmas Eve or Christmas Day Psalm 96, Psalm 97, Psalm 98, 1st Sunday after Christmas, Psalm 148, New Year’s Day Psalm 8, 2nd Sunday after Christmas Psalm 147, Epiphany Psalm 72, 1st Sunday after Epiphany Psalm 29, 2nd Sunday after Epiphany Psalm 36, 3rd Sunday after Epiphany Psalm 19, 4th Sunday after Epiphany Psalm 71, 5th Sunday after Epiphany Psalm 138, 6th Sunday after Epiphany Psalm 1, 7th Sunday after Epiphany Psalm 37, Transfiguration Sunday (Sunday before Lent) Psalm 99
Lent: Ash Wednesday Psalm 51, 1st Sunday in Lent Psalm 91, 2nd Sunday in Lent Psalm 27, 3rd Sunday in Lent Psalm 63, 4th Sunday in Lent Psalm 32, 5th Sunday in Lent Psalm 126, 6th Sunday in Lent (Palm or Passion Sunday) Psalm 118 or 31
Easter: Easter Psalm 118 or Psalm 114, 2nd Sunday of Easter Psalm 118 or Psalm 150, 3rd Sunday of Easter Psalm 30, 4th Sunday of Easter Psalm 23 or 114, 5th Sunday of Easter Psalm 148, 6th Sunday of Easter Psalm 67 or 109, Ascension Psalm 47 or Psalm 93, 7th Sunday of Easter Psalm 97 or Psalm 2, Day of Pentecost Psalm 104
Season After Pentecost (Ordinary Time): 1st Sunday after Pentecost (Trinity Sunday) Psalm 8, 2nd Sunday after Pentecost Psalm 42 and Psalm 43 or Psalm 22, 3rd Sunday after Pentecost Psalm 77 or Psalm 16, 4th Sunday after Pentecost Psalm 30 or Psalm 66, 5th Sunday after Pentecost Psalm 82 or Psalm 25, 6th Sunday after Pentecost Psalm 52 or Psalm 15, 7thSunday after Pentecost Psalm 85 or Psalm 138, 8th Sunday after Pentecost Psalm 107 or Psalm 49, 9th Sunday after Pentecost Psalm 50 or Psalm 33, 10th Sunday after Pentecost Psalm 80 or Psalm 82, 11th Sunday after Pentecost Psalm 71or Psalm 103, 12th Sunday after Pentecost Psalm 81 or Psalm 112, 13th Sunday after Pentecost Psalm 139 or Psalm 1, 14thSunday after Pentecost Psalm 14 or Psalm 51, 15th Sunday after Pentecost Psalm 79 or Psalm 113, 16th Sunday after Pentecost Psalm 91 or Psalm 146, 17th Sunday after Pentecost Psalm 137 or Psalm 37, 18th Sunday after Pentecost Psalm 66 or Psalm 111, 19th Sunday after Pentecost Psalm 119 or Psalm 121, 20th Sunday after Pentecost Psalm 65 or Psalm 84, 21st Sunday after Pentecost Psalm 119 or Psalm 32, 22nd Sunday after Pentecost Psalm 145 or Psalm 98 or Psalm 17, 23rdSunday after Pentecost Psalm 98, 24th Sunday after Pentecost Psalm 46.
Sources and notes:
“Psalm 139 is the most personal expression in Scripture of the Old Testament’s radical monotheism. It is a doctrinal classic because it portrays human existence in all its dimensions in terms of God’s knowledge, presence, and power. It reflects an understanding of the human as enclosed in divine reality. The psalm is even more a devotional classic, because used as prayer it bestows and nurtures an awareness of the LORD as the total environment of life. It teaches and confesses in the fullest way that “my times are in your hand” (31:15).” Mays p. 425
“The whole has the cadence of a faith that trusts itself to a being known by the LORD that includes discernment of the self, presence to the self, and creation of the self. The psalm is a spiritual achievement that transcends the limits and functions of the usual types.” Mays p. 427
“The psalmist speaks about self by speaking to God and speaks about God by speaking as a self.” Mays p. 427
“Psalm 139 is the second in a collection of eight psalms of David at the end of book 5. Like Psalm 138, it is classified as an individual hymn of thanksgiving, praising God for goodness to or on behalf of the psalm singer, usually for deliverance from some trying situation.” W p. 258
“Four verses of the psalm, 19-22, stand in stark contrast with the rest. They are often omitted in reading and studying the psalm, but scholars suggest that they may provide the hermeneutical key to understanding the circumstance under which it was composed. …. In this context of conflict and hostility the psalm singer speaks in trust and thankfulness for God’s presence.” W pp. 259-260
In verse 13 the Hebrew word translate as “formed” occurs in this Psalm and “three other times in the Hebrew Bible in the sense of begetting a child. …. In Psalm 139 we may be permitted to see the psalm singer voicing a connection between her own “forming” and the first child of humanity (Gen 4:1), the children of Israel (Deut. 32:6), and Woman Wisdom (Prov 8:22).” W p. 263
“The presence of such love invites both fierce loyalty (vv. 19-22) and sweet surrender (vv. 23-24).” NIB p. 697
“13. innermost parts. The literal meaning of the Hebrew is “kidneys”. Though the kidneys are generally thought of as the seat of conscience in the Bible, the context here (see parallel verset, “wove me in my mother’s womb”) suggest that in this case the term is synecdoche for all the intricate inner organs of the human creature. The location in the womb is associatively triggered by the idea of being enveloped in darkness expressed in verses 11 and 12.” Alter p. 481
“14. for awesomely I am set apart. The Hebrew ki nora’ot nifleiyti is not clear. Most interpreters understand nifleiyti as a variant spelling of niflei’ta, a verb whose root means “wonder” and render it as “wondrously made.” But there is scant evidence that this verb can mean “wondrously made” rather than simply “was wondrous.” Spelled as it is with a heh and not an aleph, the verb means “to be set apart” or “to be distinct.” That meaning might be appropriate for the speaker’s reflection on how he evened in the womb from an unformed embryo to a particular human being with the consciousness of his own individuality.” Alter p. 481
“15. knitted in the utmost depths. The literal sense of the Hebrew phrase is “in the depths of the earth.” With the movement from the enveloping darkness of a cosmic netherworld to the womb earlier in the poem, at this point there is an archetypal association between womb and the chthonic depths. (The Aramaic Targum renders this phrase flatly as kereisa de’ima, “mother’s womb.”) This translation chooses an English phrase that might suggest both womb and netherworld.” Alter p. 481
“16. and in Your book all was written down. The Hebrew is obscure-an obscurity compounded by the introduction of a plural (literally, “they are all written down”). The days were fashioned. The textual difficulties continue. If the received text is correct, it might mean “the future days of the child to be born were already given shape in the womb.” not one of them did lack. The enigmatic Hebrew text says literally, “and not one in them.” The verb “did lack”–in Hebrew, this would be yehsar–is added as an interpretive guess. ” Alter p. 482
“17. weighty. The Hebrew root y-q-r more often means “precious,” but the sense of “weighty” registers an Aramaic influence, reflecting the late composition of this psalm.” Alter p. 482
“18. I awake. The effort of many modern interpreters to link the verb with quets, “end,” is dubious, because heitsoti elsewhere always means “I awake.” What the poet may be imagining is that after the long futile effort of attempting to count God’s infinite thoughts, he drifts off in exhaustion, then awakes to discover that God’s eternal presence, with all those endless divine thoughts, is still with him.” Alter p. 482
“19. God. The name used here is ‘eloah, which occurs only in poetry and is especially common in Job.” Alter p. 482
Alter, Robert. 2007. The Book of Psalms: A Translation with Commentary New York: W. W. Norton & Company
WBC Allen, Leslie C. 1983. Word Biblical Commentary: Psalms 101-150. Vol. 21. Waco, TX: Word Books, Publisher.
Bonhoeffer, Dietrich. 1974. Psalms: The Prayer Book of the Bible. 8th ed. Minneapolis, MN: Augsburg Press.
Bourgeault, C. (2006). Chanting the psalms: A practical guide Audio Book. New Seeds.
Brueggemann, Walter. 2007. Praying the Psalms: Engaging Scripture and the Life of the Spirit. 2nd ed. Eugene, OR: Cascade.
Brueggemann, Walter. 2014. From Whom No Secrets Are Hid: Introducing the Psalms. Edited by Brent A. Strawn. 1st ed. Louisville, KY: Westminster John Knox Press.
Brueggemann, Walter. Davis Hanskins, Editor. 2022. Our Hearts Wait: Worshiping Through Praise and Lament in the Psalms Westminster John Knox Press, Louisville KY.
Brueggemann, Walter. (2002). Spirituality of the psalms. Augsburg Pub. House.
Brueggemann, Walter. (1984). The Message of the Psalms: A Theological Commentary. Minneapolis: Augsburg.
Chilson, Richard, ed. You Shall Not Want: A Spiritual Journey Based on the Psalms. Ave Maria Press, 2009.
Chittister, Joan. (2011). Songs of the heart: reflections on the psalms. John Garratt Publishing.
Cudjoe-Wilkes, G., Wilkes, A. J., & Moss, O. (2022). Psalms for black lives: Reflections for the work of Liberation. Upper Room Books.
WBC Craigie, Peter C. 1983. Psalms 1-50–Word Biblical Commentary. Vol. 19. Waco, TX: Word Books.
Creach, Jerome Frederick Davis. 1998. Psalms: Interpretation Bible Studies. Louisville, KY: Westminster John Knox Press.
DAFLER, J. (2021). PSOBRIETY: A journey of recovery through the psalms. Louisville, KY: WESTMINSTER JOHN KNOX.
W de Claisse-Walford, Nancy L. WISDOM COMMENTARY: Psalms Bks. 4-5. Edited by Barbara E. Reid. Vol. 22. Collegeville, MN: Liturgical, 2020.
Green, Barbara. 1997. Like a Tree Planted: An Exploration of Psalms and Parables Through Metaphor. Collegeville, MN: Liturgical Press.
W Hopkins, Denise Dombkowski. WISDOM COMMENTARY: Psalms Bks. 2-3. Edited by Barbara E. Reid. Vol. 21. Collegeville, MN: Liturgical, 2016.
NIB Keck, Leander E. 2015. The New Interpreters Bible Commentary. Vol. 3. Nashville, TN: Abingdon Press.
Lewis, C. S. (2017). Reflections on the Psalms. Harper One, an imprint of Harper Collins Publishers.
Mays, James Luther. 1994. Psalms. Louisville, KY: John Knox Press.
McCann, J. C. (1993). A theological introduction to the book of Psalms: The Psalms as Torah. Nashville, TN: Abingdon Press.
McCann, J. C., & Howell, J. C. 2001. Preaching the Psalms. Nashville, TN: Abingdon Press.
Merrill, N. C. (2020). Psalms for praying an invitation to wholeness (10th Anniversary Edition ed.). London, England: Bloomsbury Publishing.
Miller, Patrick D. 1986. Interpreting the Psalms. Philadelphia, PA: Fortress Press.
Morgan, Michael. 2010. The Psalter for Christian Worship Revised Edition. Westminster John Knox Press.
Schlimm, Matthew Richard. 2018. 70 Hebrew Words Every Christian Should Know. Nashville, TN: Abington Press.
Spong, M. (Ed.). (2020). The words of her mouth: Psalms for the struggle. Cleveland, OH: The Pilgrim Press.
WBC Tate, Marvin E. 1990. Word Biblical Commentary: Psalms 51-100. Edited by David Allan. Hubbard and Glenn W. Barker. Vol. 20. Waco, TX: Word.
Weems, Ann. 1995. Psalm of Lament. Westminster John Knox Pres
OTL Weiser, Artur. 1998. Old Testament Library: Psalms. Translated by Herbert Hartwell. 3rd ed. New York, NY: Manchester University Press.
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