The first Easter was confusing, tear-filled, surprising, joy filled, terrifying, hopeful, and a host of other emotions I can not imagine. So, this is your friendly reminder that any feeling you are having about Easter this year is valid and you are allowed to feel the way you feel. You are allowed to look for hope, find the bright side, and be joyful, but you don’t have to force those things either. They will come eventually, and maybe when you are least expecting it. Resurrection didn’t come because Mary went looking for it. Mary was doing what she felt like she needed to do in her grief when Jesus appeared to her. God will make the first move. So do whatever ritual you need to do to bring yourself to the awareness of God’s presence. That can be smelling Easter lilies or reading the psalms with tear filled eyes. It can be over functioning productivity or a second nap. God sees you, God knows you, and most importantly, God loves you.
Kurtis and I are trying to do as many of our usual Easter traditions as we can. We started our morning with cinnamon rolls and coffee, went to zoom church, and he put ham in the oven. Mom stopped by to bring pie and “new” clothes for Molly made from my old days for girls shirt that was stained and ripped and my brothers old blue jeans. Too cute! Mom babysits her grandchildren (my brother’s children) so she is going to spend Easter with them. She stops by our place once a week, she is the only person we aren’t socially distancing from now. I set up a zoom meeting to see the rest of the family and it was the first time all of my cousins on my mom’s side had been together for Easter in a long time. We ate Easter dinner off of grandma’s china.
This is a weird time. Some of what we are all experiencing is terribly painful and some of it is specially wonderful. And it’s not over yet. None of us knows when this will be over, or what life will be like after this, but I think we can have hope that this is not the end. I have hope because I believe in the resurrection of the dead and in the life of the world to come.